


In the Gray Area

by Chicktar



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Blowjobs, Incest, M/M, Pining, Sibling Incest, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-27 06:54:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12075819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chicktar/pseuds/Chicktar
Summary: Sam has spent his whole life dreaming of being with his brother, Dean.  One day he sees Dean with a girl and begins to learn something he never suspected about his brother.(This has not been beta-ed.  Please forgive any errors.)





	1. Chapter 1

"Damnit," Sam thought, as he walked up to the motel room. Really? AGAIN? He stared at the sock hanging from the doorknob. He was tired and he just wanted to go to sleep early, but of course Dean was in there with some girl hanging off of his dick. Like always. He considered going in anyway. He knew if he did, Dean would stop and send the girl home, even if he would be mad at Sam for interrupting. But he really didn't want to see it. Didn't want to see some soft, curvy thing with long hair bouncing up and down on his brother's perfect cock. Didn't want to see it, with its slight little curve to the right, glistening with some girl's juices. Didn't want to hear his brother's voice all low and hungry with desire, urging some girl on instead of him. It was a gorgeous September evening and the room windows were open (though the curtains were drawn shut). But he couldn't hear anything from the room. Maybe they were done.

He walked around the building to the back and stood on his tiptoes to look through the high little bathroom window. Yep. He could see straight in from there to Dean's bed. _Shit_. They weren't even fully naked yet.  For fuck's sake.  But they weren't doing anything either.  They were just laying there on their backs next to each other.  Her shirt was off but she still had her bra on.  He didn't get it.  Then he could hear their voices, just a soft murmur really.

"Dean, it isn't all black and white."

"Yes it is.  It's fucking wrong.  It's disgusting.  I'm sick."

Dean was sick?  Fuck.  If he was sick Sammy knew he wouldn't want to go to the doctor or anything.  He'd think it was too risky and expensive.  He would never spend any money to take care of himself.  He'd spend all night hustling pool or hauling ass at some shitty manual labor job if it got Sam a pair of sneakers or a winter coat, but he'd keep himself in the same threadbare jeans he'd had for years.

He came out of these thoughts just in time to hear the girl saying "...what if he's into you, too?"

Dean let out a bitter sort of laugh.  "I ain't that lucky, Jenny.  And besides, he's too good.  He'd never be sick like me.  You don't understand--he's just perfect.  He's smart and strong and beautiful and he's going to have an amazing life someday and there's no fucking way I'm going to get in the way of that."

What?  Dean was...he was interested in some guy?  He never talked about guys.  Ever.  And he talked about women and leered at them and fucked them all the damn time.  Sam felt like he was in some bizarro version of his world watching some not-quite-Dean

"If he's into you, how would you be getting in the way.  He'll still have an amazing life and maybe you can be part of it."

"No!" Dean almost yelled suddenly.  Then he burst into tears, his fists flying up to his eyes as sobs wracked his body.  Sam grabbed at the window ledge and stared.  He had never seen Dean cry.  Not even when John had beaten him with a belt so bad he couldn't sit down for days.  Not even when a man almost twice his size had kicked him in the gut and stolen all their money.

The girl reached over and wrapped her arms around Dean, pulling him to her.  He curled around her and clung to her body, pressing his face to her chest and sobbing violently.  She shushed him and Sam pressed his body hard to the motel wall, trying to hear them.

"Shhh, Dean, it'll be okay."

"I don't know what to do.  It used to be enough.  But it isn't working anymore.  I don't need just any sex--I need him.  I need him so bad.  I have to take care of him, but I'm so afraid I'm going to do something I shouldn't and..."

What the hell was Dean talking about?  None of this made any sense.  Apparently he'd had some boyfriend that Sam had never heard anything about and...then the guy had rejected him?  But Dean still felt responsible for him somehow?  How could some guy have been idiot enough to have a chance with fucking Dean Winchester and just throw it away?  Sam's hands clenched involuntarily into fists and he imagined punching whatever asshole had broken his brother's heart like this.  At the same time, he wanted to run into the room and shove that girl out of Dean's bed and take her place--wrap his arms around his brother and tell him he was good and perfect and everything would be okay.

He was about to do just that when he heard the girl, Jenny, say, "What about Tommy?"

Tommy?  Was Tommy the dickhead who'd hurt Dean?

"Your brother?"

"Yeah.  He told me he thinks you're hot.  Said he was jealous when you picked me up tonight.  He's not as young...[something muffled]...but he's lanky like that and has longer hair and everything.  Maybe you just need something...closer.  You know, than a girl."

Dean had stopped crying and was looking at Jenny now, but his back was to Sam so Sam couldn't see his face.  He was back in bizarro world--this girl was offering up her brother to...fuck Dean?...so he could...what?  Pretend he was fucking the guy he was really in love with?  It didn't make any sense--why hadn't Dean told her to fuck off, already?  He waited and watched as Jenny ran her hand along Dean's hairline, gently stroking his face as Sam had imagined doing countless times when Dean was sleeping.

"Uh...I don't know.  I..."

Jenny smiled softly at Dean, in a strangely motherly sort of way.

"From you, Dean, that may as well be a yes.  Look, I know you're suffering.  I think you should just give go for it, but if you won't then you need some way to release the tension.  And clearly I'm not enough.  It's not a lifetime commitment, I'm just suggesting you give it a try and see if it helps."

Dean was quiet for a long moment.  Then he said, "It feels wrong.  It's like finally admitting what I really want and then pretending like it's not sick as fuck."

"Who says it's sick and wrong?  Just people, Dean.  People are wrong all the time.  If something makes two people happy and doesn't hurt anyone else, I don't see how that can be so bad."

"It's bad if one of them is minor."

Fuck!  Dean was in love with some fucking teenage boy?  It was like life couldn't be any more cruel if it tried.  Sam would give anything to be that boy.  Or even to be this Tommy boy and act as a substitute for Dean.  But of course all Dean would ever see him as was his little baby brother.

"...eighteen soon.  But whatever, Dean.  Look, I'm gonna go, okay.  But why don't I see if Tommy is free tomorrow night.  No commitments--just meet and see if you want to."

"Um...okay, I guess."

"Will Sam be gone at the library the same time?"

"Yeah.  He said he has some report he'll be working on all week."

"Okay.  I'll send him over around 6."

"Jenny, I'm really sor--"

"Dean, stop.  It's no big deal.  We had some fun.  I like you and I think you should be happy.  But barring that, at least you should get some!"  She ended the phrase with a lightness, as if it were a funny joke, and she pressed a kiss to Dean's forehead, then swung her legs out of bed and reached to the floor for her top.  Sam moved away from the window so they wouldn't see him and leaned against the wall.

His brother.  Dean.  Was in love with some guy.  Some guy who was his age.  And he was going to be fucking some replacement guy tomorrow in their motel room.  He closed his eyes and he saw Dean's hard cock plunging into the ass of some skinny twink bent over the couch.  His cock twitched in his pants and he grabbed his crotch and started rubbing his cock through his jeans.  Fuck.  He felt fucking turned on and sick to his stomach at the same time.  Just because Dean was into guys--young guys at that--he'd still never consider Sam.  Sam was too...bookish and nerdy and plain looking.  Dean was so gorgeous, he could have anyone he wanted.  Whoever the guy he had these feelings for was, there was no doubt he was cool and gorgeous, just like Dean.  But at least if Dean was going to be with guys now--maybe it would never be Sam, but Sam could imagine it was him.  He just...he had to see it--he had to know--had to see his perfect, beautiful brother fucking into some kid's ass.  He could live on that memory and imagine himself in that kid's place for the rest of his life. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam watches Dean's meeting with Tommy.

Shit!  Shit shit shit!  Of course Virginia had to stop him as he was on his way out of the library and now he was going to be late.  He jogged down the street, not wanting to draw too much attention to himself, and looked at his watch.  6:02.  Tommy should already be there.  Damnit!

He turned onto Jefferson and picked up speed, their motel only 5 blocks away now.  As he reached the parking lot, he slowed, knowing it would look strange if anyone saw him racing into the rear courtyard.  He also didn't want Dean to hear his heaving breaths through the open window, so he walked sedately, working on calming his breathing.  When he turned the corner into the courtyard he wasn't surprised to see it empty.  The courtyard was only a narrow space really between their building and the warehouse next door, closed at one end and overgrown without weeds.  There was really no reason anyone would ever come back here other than to repair something.  And Sam figured that only happened once in a blue moon with the way this shithole was run.  The motel only had one other guest this week and his room was down at the far end, so it was extremely unlike anyone would glance out and see him.  He slowed down and walked as quietly as he could as he neared their room and carefully set his backpack down against the wall.  He stepped up onto the crate he had brought back here so he wouldn't have to crane up on his tiptoes the whole time, and peered in.

Dean was just straightening up from pulling a beer out of the mini-fridge and he turned and handed it to the young man behind him.

 _Tommy_ , Sam thought.  He looked--somehow different than Sam had expected.  He looked maybe 20, younger than Dean, but older than Sam.  Slim and boyish, though, with a sort of long, shaggy mop of hair.  Not unlike Sam's.  He was as tall as Dean, though.  He looked--nice.  But not special.  Not like Dean.  Or like someone Dean would be interested in.  But Sam guessed Dean wasn't really interested in him, was he?  Tommy was just a substitute.  For who?

Tommy and Dean clinked bottles together and each took a long pull.  Then they were just standing there and Sam could feel the awkward tension from fifteen feet away.

"So...uh..." Dean tried.  Then his voice just trailed off and he looked down at the bottle in his hands.

Tommy laughed and took another drink.  Then he set his beer down on the dresser and walked right up to Dean.  Right up.  Like in his space in a way that no one ever did with Dean unless they were a hot woman or wanted to get punched.  He took the bottle out of Dean's hands and set it on the dresser, too.  Then he said quietly, "It's cool, Dean.  You're hot.  And I know I'm not exactly what you want, but maybe I'm close enough for right now, eh?"  And he ducked his head down to try to catch Dean's lips in a kiss.

Dean jerked back at the touch and grabbed Tommy's shirt in his fist.  His head came up and he was staring at the younger man and Sam wished he could have seen Dean's face better.  His profile didn't look angry, just...hurt or...maybe even scared somehow?  Tommy didn't freak out at all, though, just stood, with Dean holding his shirt, and waited for Dean to decide what to do.

Sam had to strain to hear Dean's words when he finally spoke.  "No...maybe no kissing...at least right now."

Tommy shrugged like it didn't matter at all.  "Okay, that's cool.  Kissing isn't really the main event I'm here for anyway."  Then he just pulled his shirt over his head, leaving it hanging in Dean's fist and dropped to his knees.  He had Dean's belt unbuckled and his pants open before either Sam or Dean seemed to realize what was happening.  Dean dropped Tommy's shirt on the floor just as Tommy tugged his jeans and boxers down over his hips.  His cock sprang free in front of Tommy, not at all hard, but still looking absolutely perfect and delicious to Sam.  He had fantasized for years about what it would be like to be where Tommy was in this moment.  To be able to take Dean into his mouth and feel him grow hard and needy, all for Sam.  To feel Dean's hand in his hair, urging him on, guiding him to just the speed and depth that Dean would like most.  Sam's mouth hung open as he watched Tommy smile and then simply wrap his lips around Dean's flaccid cock and begin sucking.  Dean inhaled sharply and closed his eyes.  Tommy sucked and bobbed his head back and forth and Sam could see Dean grew quickly hard under this treatment.  Soon, Tommy's lips were spread wide and sliding on and off Dean's thick shaft as Tommy wrapped a hand around the base, stroking the portion of Dean's cock he couldn't fit in his mouth.  It looked to Sam like Tommy had no finesse.  He just bobbed back and forth and sucked and never varied anything or even looked up to see if Dean was enjoying it.  Dean kept his eyes closed tightly and just stood there, his hands in fists at his sides.  But Tommy kept working and clearly it was enough, as even Sam could see that Dean was hard as a rock now.  It was a weird scene--somehow cold and unsexy but also it was Dean and Sam's fetishistic obsession with Dean's cock sure as hell hadn't disappeared, so Sam was quickly hard and reaching into his jeans to stroke his own cock as he watched.

Then suddenly Dean jammed his hands into Tommy's hair and grabbed fists full, holding his head still.  Tommy's eyes flew up, but Dean's were still closed tight.  Then Dean slowly rocked his hips back a bit and then forward, fucking out and into Tommy's mouth, holding Tommy's head still with the grip in his hair.  Sam could almost feel what those strong hands must feel like, twined in his hair, controlling him, holding him just where Dean wanted him.  He could almost feel the smooth stroking of Dean's cock sliding over his lips and the fat head of his cock rolling along his tongue, the weight of it filling his mouth.  He jacked himself roughly to the sight as Dean fucked Tommy's mouth, wishing he could be that waiting mouth, wishing Dean's hands were in his hair, wondering for the millionth time how Dean would taste when he came.  Then Dean was coming, pressing Tommy's face hard up against his groin and jerking a bit with his orgasm, but making no sounds that Sam could hear.

When Dean released Tommy, he took a deep breath and wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand, then rose up from his knees and dropped onto his back on Dean's bed.  Dean stood there for another moment and Sam realized he was still hard, had forgotten his own need as he watched Dean relieving his.  He didn't feel as hot right now, but he still had his brother there, in front of him, his cock hanging loose and free and his gorgeous neck and biceps on display and it was enough.  It was always enough for Sam.  Any part of Dean was.  He started slowly stroking himself again, watching to see what else would happen.

After a couple minutes, Dean opened his eyes and blinked a bit, then reached over for his beer.  He poured the rest of the beer down his throat and that's when Sam noticed the whiskey bottle and glass sitting on the dresser.  Dean had already been drinking before Tommy got there.  Sam wondered how much.  Finally stepped roughly out of his pants and turned around to face the bed as he pulled his t-shirt over his head.  He was fucking beautiful.  Of course.  Sam knew that.  He'd seen most of Dean's body many times over the years of sharing motel rooms.  But he seldom got to actually look.  Dean dropped back onto the bed next to Tommy.  The two didn't say anything for a while.

Then Tommy rolled to his side and lifted a hand up to trail it over Dean's chest.  "You know...you can call me whatever you want."

Dean didn't say anything.

So Tommy tried again.  "Or I can call you whatever you want."

Dean twitched.

"That's fine.  We don't have to talk at all."  Tommy bent his head down over Dean's neck and Sam assumed he was kissing or licking or nibbling Dean's neck.  Dean closed his eyes again and just...let Tommy play.  Let Tommy taste and suck and work over all that soft, hot, wonderful skin of Dean's that Sam would have done anything to be allowed to touch that way.  For a while it was just quiet, Tommy worked over Dean's neck and face and around to the other side of his neck and then slid his hand down Dean's chest.  Sam watched as it ran over Dean's cock, which was just beginning to take an interest again, and then gently ran over his balls.  Dean jerked slightly and Sam thought he would pull away, but then he spread his legs and relaxed and Tommy continued kissing down Dean's neck and over his chest, as he rolled Dean's balls gently in his fingers.  Then he wrapped his hand around Dean's cock and started stroking him.  Sam watched with fascination and jacked himself slowly at the same time, his eyes pinned on the other man's hand sliding up and down his brother's cock.  Then suddenly Dean was moving, he jerked up and barked out at Tommy, "Pants off" and reached over to rummage in his duffel bag.  Tommy obeyed immediately, pulling his pants and underwear off and dropping them on the floor, revealing a nice enough looking cock Sam supposed, slim, but hard and dripping with precum.  When Dean turned back around he had a bottle of lube in his hand and seemed taken aback to see the naked Tommy before him.  He breathed hard and stared for a second, then he grunted out, "Hands and knees" and knelt back toward the foot of the bed.

Tommy seemed happy enough to take position in front of Dean, his shoulders to the mattress and his ass up in the air in front of Dean.  And finally, Dean seemed fully interested in the proceedings--looking like he did whenever he was on a hot streak in a pool game against a particularly asshole-ish partner.  He smirked and ran his hands over the ass cheeks in front of him, flexing and squeezing and playing with the soft globes.  Then he pulled them apart and ran one finger up and down the crack, Sam assumed playing with the puckered little hole there.  He imagined Dean treating him this way, how amazing it would feel to have Dean's hands on his own skin, to feel wanted and desired by Dean this way.  He watched Dean put some lube on the fingers of one hand and then slide a finger into Tommy.  He thought he heard Dean whisper, "Yesss" as his finger disappeared inside Tommy.  The boy squirmed a bit and wiggled his ass, apparently encouraging Dean along, but Dean grabbed his hip tightly with one hand and stilled him, then started moving his hand back and forth, fucking Tommy with his finger.  When Tommy stilled Dean released his hip and brought that hand up to spread Tommy's ass cheeks and finally Sam could see as Dean pulled his finger out and then slid two in slowly, just a little bit at first, but then rocking back and forth and working them in all the way.  He fucked his fingers in and out of the younger man and his hand rocked and twisted and Sam imagined that he was scissoring his fingers probably, widening that ass out, making room for his cock.  He was going to fuck Tommy.  And all Sam could do was watch.  This was the closest he would ever get to fucking Dean.  He suddenly felt sick and found himself on his knees in the tall weeds, retching roughly and trying not to make any noise.

He stayed there for minutes then heard a soft whimper from their room.  He had to know.  He had to.

He lurched back up to his crate just in time to see Dean slicking his now condom-covered cock up with lube.  It was so perfect.  He loved the shape of that perfect bulging head and that smooth shaft, with a few veins bulging along its length underneath and currently angling just a little bit toward Sam.  Sam plunged his hand back inside his pants, tacking hold of himself as he watched Dean grab Tommy's hip with one hand and press the tip of his cock to that ass with the other.  He watched Dean's ass flex as his hips pressed forward and then he was sliding in with a whimper from Tommy and a "Unnh" noise from Dean.  Sam stroked himself almost painfully slowly as he watched Dean push and rock in until he was tight up against Tommy's ass.  He grabbed Tommy's hips then and started fucking the younger man, his eyes trained on where his cock was disappearing inside the younger man.  Dean started up a steady rhythm, just sliding in and out and Sam jerked himself along to the same beat, until suddenly he realized Dean was murmuring something.  He had to strain to hear, but then he made out, "Yeah, that's so good, so good for me, baby boy....You're so tight...just like I imagined..."

Sam was lost and confused again.  It was obvious Dean hadn't fantasized about Tommy and it had sounded like the other guy...the one he was in love with...he had just assumed they had been together...but had Dean only wanted him?  And never had him? 

"Fuck, yeah..." Dean rumbled, clearly caught up now, his pace starting to pick up.  "Love you so much...my baby boy..."

WHAT?

Then Dean was just grunting and fucking harder into Tommy, holding his hips so tight the skin was pressed white around each of Dean's fingertips.  "Unh...wanted you so long...unnh...yesss....Sammy..."

Sam froze and his free hand scrabbled for the wall, trying to keep the world from spinning around him.  Time inside the room seemed to still be moving forward.  Dean was still fucking that...manboy...  But out here, there was only that one moment.  Dean deep inside someone's ass and calling HIS name.  "Sammy."  He'd said "Sammy."  Sam stared at Dean.  Stared at his hard, glistening cock, sliding in and out of...someone else.  Some Not-Sammy.  No.  This. Was. Not. Okay.  He leaped off the carton and ran around the building, bursting in the door to their room.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam confronts Dean (this got longer than expected, so I broke this chapter up into two, so there will be one more chapter with all the really good smut still to come).

Sam threw the door open and heard it bang into the wall, but he had eyes only for Dean.

Dean swung around to the door and stared.  They froze, eyes on each other and then Sam turned to...Tommy.  He suddenly hated this guy.  It wasn't his fault.  But he needed to go.  

"Get out," Sam growled at Tommy.  His voice sounded more animal than human.  Tommy didn't waste any time arguing, just grabbed his clothes and squeezed past Sam and out the door.  Sam slammed the door shut behind him, not caring that he'd just kicked a naked man out onto the sidewalk.  All he cared about was Dean.  Everything he'd ever wanted and maybe it would be his.  Dean wanted HIM.  The same way he had longed for Dean for what felt like his entire life.

Dean was still frozen, kneeling naked on the bed.  His eyes locked onto Sam, wide and almost glazed looking.  He seemed...scared.  Dean.  Dean who was afraid of nothing.  

Sam stepped slowly forward and Dean scrambled back off the bed, onto his feet.  Dean’s hands scrambled for his cock ripping off the cond9m and tossing it into the corner trash can as his eyes still tracked Sam’s movements, wide and almost scared looking.  As Sam stepped forward, Dean stepped back, and Sam was suddenly afraid Dean was going to lock himself in the bathroom and the moment would somehow be lost no matter what he said.

"Dean, stop."  He knew it sounded more like a plea than a command.  But it worked.  When he stepped forward the next time, Dean didn't move.  Appeared frozen by Sam's request.  Sam took another step.  Then another.  Then another, and he was in front of Dean.

He raised a hand, slowly, carefully and placed it flat on Dean's chest.  He was hot, like a fire was burning under the surface of his skin.

"I want you, Dean." Dean flinched beneath his hand, but he didn't run away, didn't say anything.  "I've wanted you as long as I can remember.  And now I know you want me, too.  So here--"

"Sammy--" Dean started, and Sam felt his body sway backward, away from Sam.

"No!" Sam commanded.  And this time it WAS a command.  "No, Dean."  He slid his hand up and brought the other up and cupped Dean's face with both hands.  He stared into those green eyes and tried to will his brother NOT to put up those walls--those huge, tall, strong, powerful walls that only Dean Winchester knew how to construct.  "We can talk about this more if you want, but we're not going to forget it, we're not going to hide from it, we're not going to pretend it isn't there.  Not anymore.  I love you.  I want you.  And you love me and you want me, too.  So here are your choices tonight, Dean.  We can either do what we've been wanting to do and see if we like it--if it makes us HAPPY.  Or we can talk about why you won't do it first and then I'll break down all your objections and we'll do it after that.  So choose.  Do you want door number 1 or door number 2?"

"Sam, we can't--"

"Why not, Dean?"

Dean just stared at him, his eyes pleading.

"Do you want to talk about this, Dean?"

Dean shook his head.  Once.

"Good.  Then we'll go with door number 1."  Sam grabbed his shirt and pulled it off, dropping it on the floor behind him.

Dean made a strangled sound and took a step back.   _Shit_.

"Dean, wait."  He put his hands up in front of himself like he was approaching a skittish animal.  "Okay, I'm sorry.  I pushed too hard.  We'll go slower, okay?"  He reached forward slowly and took Dean's hands in his. He stepped back and Dean moved with him as if in a daze.  Sam led him to the bed and urged him to sit.  He thought about kneeling in front of Dean but knew he would be too distracted in that position.  So he sat next to Dean, pulling his leg up underneath him so he could face Dean. Dean turned automatically to face him.

Sam took a deep breath.  His whole life was on the line.  And Dean's.  It was too important to mess this up.  He could do this.  He had to.

"Dean, I...I'm sorry, but...I saw you...with Tommy.  I...heard you say my name.  I know...I know it's me--"

"Sam," Dean groaned and his voice sounded like his heart was breaking.

"Don't deny it, Dean," Sam pleaded.  "Please don't.  It's what I've wanted forever.  For you to want me...someday...the way I want you.  Please just admit it, Dean.  Please."  He hated the whining tone his voice was taking on but his confidence had faded away suddenly under the pressure of Dean's fear and guilt.  He stared into Dean's green eyes.  And then Dean nodded. Just once.  But Sam saw it.  It was unmistakable.

"Its why Tommy was here.  He was supposed to be me."

Sam waited.  Then Dean nodded again.  Once.

Sam scooted closer, into Dean's space, his knee slipping behind Deanand his other knee pressing against Dean's leg.  "But you wouldn't let him kiss you."

He leaned in, his mouth an inch from Dean's their breath mingling.  He thought he could feel Dean trembling.  He wasnt the only one.  "Will you let me?"  It was almost a whisper.  He pleaded with Dean with his eyes and then finally, like a blessing from God, Dean nodded again.

Sam's heart was in his throat as he closed the distance and pressed his lips softly against Dean's.  Dean did nothing.  But he didn't pull away.  Sam pressed a long, soft kiss, then another.  Then another.  Then just as he was about to pull back he felt a slight shift in Dean's lips.  He shifted and pressed his lips against Dean's sweet soft mouth. He slid his tongue out just barely, tentatively running it along Dean's perfect, full bottom lip.

Dean moaned--a quiet, aching sound.  But finally it wasn't a broken, pleading ache.  It sounded more like acceptance to Sam.

He pressed his advantage, letting his tongue explore Dean's lips and pressing soft kisses all over his mouth until finally, suddenly, Dean's hand wrapped around the back of his neck and Dean's tongue came out to join his and then slip into his mouth and Dean was kissing him.  Kissing him like fire and need and hunger and all so strong they took Sam's breath away.  He forgot to kiss back for a while as Dean took over and explored his mouth, owning him, his big brother teaching him what kissing could really feel like. Heat burned down his spine like it was a fuse, sliding down his body and pooling in his groin.  He noticed he was hard and straining against his jeans almost painfully.  

"Yes, god yes!" He thought. "Please don't let him stop!"

Something about that thought brought Sam back to his senses and he started kissing Dean back, letting their kisses become a mutual exchange and exploration.  Dean's body relaxed into it and he turned more to Sam, bringing his other hand up to cup Sam's face.  They kissed for what seemed like ages and also no time at all.  Then Dean's mouth slid from his and ran over his face, pressing kisses to his jawline, up to his ear.  They were both panting and Sam was sweating and shaking with all the emotions of finally having this moment.  With Dean.  Dean pressed his cheek against Sam's, his grip around Sam's neck holding Sam still and close up against him.  He just held there, pressed tight and panting for a moment.

"Sam," Dean whispered, "my Sam."  His voice was lower, rough and yet somehow tender, too.  The sound made Sam's cock twitch and his stomach flip.  "Wanted you so long."

Dean pulled back and gazed at Sam.  The green of his eyes seemed darker than usual, but still luminescent, like jewels almost.

"Sammy.  Are you sure this is what you want?"  The word sure was heavy with weight.

Sam nodded.  "Yes."

Dean just stared at him.

"Yes, Dee.  Please."

Dean smiled then.  Just a little, but it was like sunshine to Sam, clearing all the clouds of worry and fear away.  Dean rose up and swung his leg over Sam to straddle his lap and he looked down at Sam.  "Then scoot back, Sammy."  He nodded, gesturing up the bed and Sam scrambled back to obey, laying down on his back on Dean's bed and watching as Dean crawled on all fours over him.  

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wincest smut ensues.

Dean was on hands and knees, hovering over Sam, looking down at him.  He was gorgeous--all power and hunger--it was as if he had turned some corner and left all his fears and reservations behind.  He was looking at Sam with more hunger than Sam had ever seen on Dean's face before.  More desire than he showed for the juiciest burger, freshest pie or hottest barmaid.  His eyes were dark and his lips pink and swollen from their kissing.  He was a predator and a shiver ran down Sam from head to toe.  Dean.  Finally.  Dean.

Dean's gaze traveled down his face and chest and then he said, "Hmm, I think these need to go, Sammy," and he swung his leg over to Sammy's right side even as his hands went to Sam's waistband, undoing his jeans and starting to tug them down.  Sam lifted his hips and Dean tugged jeans and underwear off in one go, tossing them away.  Then he straddled Sam's hips again and leaned down, holding his mouth just over Sam's.  Sam stretched up, but Dean chuckled and pulled away.  "Uh uh.  You're gonna let me have my way with you, aren't you, Sammy?"  Sam nodded and new Dean could tell he was trembling--but he prayed Dean would understand it was all the anticipation and excitement he'd built up--not indecision or fear.  Dean grabbed both Sam's wrists and lifted them up then back, pressing them to the pillow beside his head.  "I want you to keep 'em here, okay, Sammy?  Can you do that?"  Sam nodded.  Dean was mesmerizing like this--all force and authority, like he was on a hunt.  Sam would follow this Dean anywhere.  Dean smirked at him and then bent his head down, teasing Sam again, brushing his lips just past Sam's and then down past his jaw to press lightly against his neck.  He held there for a moment, as if just breathing Sam in, then his tongue swiped a lick over Sam's adam's apple and electricity ran down Sam's spine.  Dean took his time, licking and sucking and nibbling at Sam's neck until he felt like begging Dean for--he didn't even know what because this was perfect as it was.  He wanted this--just like this--and he also wanted so much more.

Dean rocked up, settling on his heels over Sam and ran his hands over Sam's chest, lightly.  "God, Sam, you're grown up now, aren't you?"

Sam didn't know what to say to that.  Didn't know if he was supposed to say anything.

Dean smirked up at him.  "And when did you start working out?  God, you're fucking hot, Sam."  Dean ran his hands over Sam's abdomen and Sam was surprised himself to see the definition he was starting to develop finally after months of working out in school gyms whenever he could.

Dean bent his head and swiped his tongue over Sam's stomach and started nibbling, kissing and licking his way all around Sam's torso.  It felt like every fantasy he'd had come true.  He wanted to reciprocate, to reach for Dean, feel his skin, touch and hold and taste, but he forced his hands still, grabbed the pillow for something to hold onto.  Dean explored him like he was planning to learn every inch of Sam and sculpt him again later from memory.  Sam was shaking with need by the time he felt Dean's hot breath just above his needy, weeping cock.  He looked down and Dean was looking up at him with fire in his eyes.  He settled down in between Sam's legs, wrapping his arms under Sam's thighs as he kept staring at Sam lasciviously.  Then, as Sam watched, Dean opened his lips and wrapped them around the head of Sam's cock, his tongue swirling around it and then dipping into the slit.  Sam's hips bucked up of their own accord and Dean jerked back, then chuckled, pulling one arm free and pressing down on Sam's hip with it.  Then Dean dropped his head back down, his eyes still looking up at Sam, probably fully aware how hot he looked from this angle with his perfect mouth and full lips stretched around Sam's cock.  This time Sam managed to stay still, with a bit of help from Dean holding him down, and Dean started working him over.  Sam couldn't believe how it felt.  He'd had a few blowjobs, but Dean's mouth--it was like he'd never felt this before.  Dean played and licked and explored for a bit but then suddenly he was bobbing his head fast up and down and sucking hard and Sam felt the orgasm building from his toes.

"Dean, I--I'm gonna--fuck--"

But Dean only looked up at him and Sam could have sworn one side of his mouth curled up in that Dean smirk even though he kept his rhythm up, sucking Sam hard and fast until Sam yelled Dean's name as he came, blowing his load in his brother's mouth.  Dean swallowed it all and after Sam had come down finally released him and pulled off, grinning up at Sam and licking his lips.

A strange panicky feeling struck Sam then.  "I'm sorry, Dean--I--I couldn't--I was just so worked up and--"

Dean chuckled again and said, in a low, gruff tone, "Sammy, relax.  I wanted you to come.  Don't worry, I'm gonna make you feel so good."  Sam's mind spun in confusion for a moment.  Dean had just made him come--just made him feel good--wasn't it his turn now--what--

Then Dean was lifting his leg and pressing it back against his chest and Sam felt Dean's hot breath over his crack and then something wet and strong, but still soft, was sliding along his hole and he jerked in surprise.  Then it slid in a long strip along his crack and started swirling over his hole more firmly.  Dean was--Dean's tongue--Dean was rimming him.  And it was amazing--it was--  Oh fuck.  Dean's tongue slid inside him and then was fucking Sam and Sam's cock was already filling and twitching in excitement again.  He had never felt anything like this.  Dean buried himself in Sam's ass and his unshaven face scraped at Sam's skin--it chafed and was almost painful but then Dean's soft, wet tongue was sliding along his sensitive rim, sending shock waves of sensation through him, up his spine and down to his toes.  Sam clutched desperately at his pillow and tried to still as much as he could, though his hips seemed to try, regardless, to press and rock back onto Dean's tongue as he worked Sam over.  He heard a noise and realized it was him--he was chanting Dean's name over and over again.  He clamped his mouth shut, knowing he sounded like an inexperienced child compared to all the women Dean had been with.  But when he stopped, Dean pulled back and looked up at him.  Their eyes met and Dean's were still dark and heavy with want, but there was a little less fire and something more tender there now.

"No, Sammy, Don't stop.  I want to hear every noise you make.  For me, okay?"

Sam let out a little soft whine without knowing exactly how to say yes and just nodded down at Dean.

"Good boy.  Now reach over there," he nodded at the nightstand, "and hand me that tube."  He reached up and grabbed the lube bottle and handed it down to Dean.

Dean nodded.  "Now put your hand back for me, show me you can be good for me just a little longer."

Thoughtlessly he reached up and took hold of the pillow again.  Dean was going to prep him--going to stretch him and get him ready to take his cock.  He had been dreaming about this for years--so sure he would never be allowed to have it.  He clutched at the pillow as he watched Dean drizzle some lube on his fingers, just as he'd done earlier with Tommy.  It had seemed so wrong then, but now it was strangely sexy--Dean's strong fingers about to slide inside his most intimate spot.

"Have you ever done this before, Sammy?" Dean's voice came to him and his flew back to Dean's.  He shook his head.

"Not even with your fingers?"

He shook his head again.

"It's okay.  Don't worry, little brother.  I'll take care of you."  At the phrase 'little brother' a thrill of heat spun up Sammy spine into his neck and he moaned aloud.  Dean grinned at him and then dropped his head down to lick a stripe up Sam's shaft and then suck Sam's cock into his mouth just as he slid a finger inside Sam's hole.  It felt good, but not as--much--as Sam had expected.  He felt less sensitive than he had when it was Dean's tongue and Dean's attention to his cock was distracting.  It was too much to focus on any one thing, he just felt warm, wet friction on his cock and something sliding past his rim, but it--it just wasn't--  Then Dean was sliding in a second finger and there was sort of a pull and stretch sensation and it was like discomfort sort of but instead of wanting it to stop he wanted more.  He wanted lots more.  He wanted to really be stretched full.  He was panting and moaning occasionally now as Dean blew him and finger fucked him--sometimes sucking hard and bobbing his head with purpose and then pulling off and licking and tasting and playing gently while his fingers spread and twisted and scissored inside Sam.

"Dean...Dean...Dean..." Sam murmured, "Dean...fuuuck...Dean...want...yes...please...Deaaannnn..."

Dean looked up at Sam and held his gaze as he pulled out and then slid three fingers slowly past Sam's rim.  And it was so close to right--the stretch, the fullness, so close.  If only he could kiss Dean at the same time.  He could stop it now, his hips worked to rock down onto Dean's fingers and he clutched at the pillow by his head as if he could somehow control his own need that way.

"Deeeaaannnn..."

"Yeah, Sammy?  You like that?  Like being stuffed full of my fingers?"  Dean pushed further in, pressing his fingers in until Sammy felt Dean's hand pressed against his rim.

"Please."

"Please what, Sammy?  What do you want, little brother."

Sam let out a whimper.  He wanted Dean to fuck him.  Now.  He wanted Dean's cock stuffed inside him so bad he could feel the ache for it in the pit of his stomach.  But for some reason it felt impossible to say that.  He looked at Dean, feeling helpless and then he understood.  Dean still needed something more.  Still needed this last permission.  It wasn't just how much Dean enjoyed teasing him--dragging out his desire and trying to make him beg.  That was definitely a part of Dean's personality, but there was something in Dean's eyes that looked more like a plea or maybe even concern mixed in with the lust that was there. 

"Fuck me, Dean.  Please," he begged, now letting his hips rock up and down on Dean's fingers freely, loving how full he felt every time he came down.

Dean sucked in a breath, as if he hadn't expected Sam to say it and then he moved, rising up on his heels and pulling his hand free.  "Turn over, Sammy," he said, giving Sam's leg a soft pat.

No.  No no no.  He needed to see Dean.  Needed those eyes, needed to watch his lips part and his freckles bounce above him.  "No.  This way.  Please, Dean."

Dean looked down at him.  "Are you sure?  Um...I think it's maybe more uncomfortable the first time?"

"Please," Sam said.  He didn't care.  He needed to see his brother.

"Okay," Dean said.  He reached for the lube and Sam watched him pour some out and take himself in hand, noticing for the first time as Dean stroked his cock over Sam's legs how hard his brother was...again? Still?  That thick stiff cock was going inside Sam.  Sam licked his lips as Dean scooted up between his legs.  Dean pressed his second leg up against his chest to join the first and pressed in tight, pushing his knees and thighs under Sam's ass.  Sam rocked up a bit until he felt the head of Dean's cock rubbing along his crack and bumping against his rim.

"Fuck, Sammy," Dean said, "You look so good."  Dean was staring down at his hole, watching the head of his cock pressing against Sam and Sam felt the pressure against him, the soft flesh somehow pushing so hard and then there was a sudden stretch, a slight burning sensation that sent electrical sparks shooting out through Sam's limbs and Dean was inside him.  But it didn't stop, Dean was pressing in still, pushing further in.  Dean's mouth had dropped open a little and he was staring, as if mesmerized at the place where there bodies were joined.  Sam watched as Dean stared and rocked back a bit, pulling out and just as Sam felt a flash of panic that he might pull out completely and stop the whole thing, he stopped and reserved, pushing back in and against Sam.  Sam moaned at the feeling, as Dean slid back inside him, somehow a perfect fit as if he belonged and at the same time almost too much, too full, too...too fucking perfect.  He pressed in further and then pulled back again and Sam watched Dean's flushed face, staring down at Sam's ass, at his cock reappearing and then disappearing again inside his brother.  Dean's tongue slid out and licked slowly along that perfect, plump bottom lip and then the lip was drawn into his mouth bit as Dean's top teeth nipped lightly down on it when he pressed further in and finally bottomed out inside Sam, his thighs and pubic hair pressing tight against Sam's ass.

"Deaannn," Sam said, and it sounded like a weird mix of a whimper and a moan.  His left hand unclenched from the pillow and reached out to his brother.

Dean looked up and his dark, hungry eyes lightened a bit and the sweet, protective, proud look came over his face--the one he had when a teacher told Dean how smart Sam was or when it was Christmas and Dean suddenly offered to take them out for something special.  He reached out and took Sam's hand in his and bent down over Sam, pulling Sam's hand back down beside his head, but this time keeping hold of it and taking the other hand in his also, pressing Sam's arms back into the bed.  Dean held his gaze, looking for something, as he slowly rolled his hips, not pulling out at all, just rocking and shifting inside Sam, making Sam feel Dean's full length rubbing inside him.  It was the most perfect sensation Sam had ever felt and he wondered how he looked to Dean--probably crazy if the need and desire he was feeling were at all evident in his face.  He whimpered and moaned a bit as Dean rolled his hips repeatedly, just watching Sam's face.

"Dee--"  

Dean let go of Sam's hand and brought his now free hand up to cup Sam's jaw.  He leaned down and nipped and sucked at Sam's lips.  When he lifted back up he rocked his hips back, sliding out partway, and then smoothly, gently, rocked back in.  Sam let out a loud whimper and clutched harder at Dean's hand that he still held.

"God, Sam...you feel so fucking good..."  Dean groaned, rocking his hips back and forward again.  Watching Sam as he stuffed his little brother full.  He moved slowly, but the thrusts became longer, as Dean pulled back until just his head was inside Sam's hole and then he slid back in all the way, as Sam delighted in the long slow glide and renewed sensation of being full...taken...owned by his big brother.  Sam whimpered and moaned and Dean murmured praise, telling Sam how perfect he felt, how tight he was, how hot and sweet and beautiful he was.  In turn, Sam's whimpers became louder.  And Dean's speed and force started to pick up until he was fucking Sam for real.  Rocking his cock hard and fast in and out of Sam and grunting in between "Yes, Sam" and "So good, Sam".  Sam felt that twitching feeling down in his toes and knew he wasn't going to last much longer.  Neither of them had paid any attention to his cock, though it was pressed between their stomachs and occasionally getting friction, but this orgasm felt like something different--almost like his soul was driving it--with its perfect sexual fantasy finally being fulfilled.

"Deaannn," Sam said, though it came out as almost a whine.  "Gonna c--"  A breath took the word away as Dean rutted into him hard just then.

But Dean heard and his eyes widened.  "Fuck, Sammy."  He slammed out and back in again.  "You gonna cum from me fucking you?"  Out.  In.  Out.  In.  Sam's toes were curling now, he couldn't last much longer.  Fuck, Dean felt so good.  "You're so perfect for me, Sammy."  Out. In.  "Love you so much, baby boy."

And that was it.  Sam's orgasm slammed into him and he rocked and shook underneath Dean, who pressed tight and hard into him, riding out Sam's orgasm, groaning as Sam clenched and spasmed around him, sliding his hand up to run his fingers over Sam's forehead and brush the hear out of his face.  "God yes, Sammy.  That's it, baby boy.  So good for me."

"Dean," Sam murmured, when the orgasm had passed.  "Want you to come inside me."

Dean jerked as his hips seemed to thrust forward against Sam involuntarily.  "Fuck, Sammy!"

"Come on," Sam urged, shifting his legs out and wrapping them around Dean's waist, pressing against Dean's ass with his feet.

Dean moaned and shifted, pressing his hands into the mattress on either side of Sam's chest.  He pulled back slowly and then slammed in hard, ramming his cock all the way inside Sam.  Sam moaned.  He could feel so much more now that his orgasm had passed.  And he wanted more than anything to know what it felt like to have Dean's cum pulsing into him.  "Fuck me, Dean," he said, his voice urgent and fierce.

And Dean did.  He let go and fucked Sam hard and fast, ramming and shoving his cock into Sam's hole, working his hips back and forth relentlessly, unable to ramble anymore, just grunting and occasionally letting out a breathy "Yes".  Then Dean's rhythm seemed to falter a bit, his hips seemed to spasm and then he slammed forcefully in and his upper body dropped down and shook and then Sam could actually feel Dean's cock pulse, and the hot wetness spreading inside him.  He clutched Dean tightly to him with both arms and legs and felt Dean shake as he came and heard him whisper, "Sammy," one last time.  He felt tears on his face and wanted to scream for joy and also wanted to pray and beg Dean never to move, never to pull out, never to leave him and end this perfect feeling.  He held Dean and held him and held him as Dean stilled and his limbs relaxed and then finally Dean's hand came up to stroke gently at the edges of Sam's hair, where he could reach it easily.

They stayed that way for a while, until it was Sam who needed to move because his leg was threatening to cramp.  He tried to casually just bring his leg down, but Dean groaned and shifted and rolled off of him, pulling out and dropping down to his back on the bed next to Sam.  Sam lay there, afraid of what might come next.  Afraid Dean still might have objections, fears, even after all of this.  Afraid maybe it wasn't as remarkable and life-changing for Dean as it had been for him.  So he waited.  Unsure what he could say or do to prevent that if it was going to happen.  Goose bumps grew on his skin in the cold room and a shiver ran over his body.  Dean's head turned and he said, "Come on, Sammy, let's get under the covers," and he reached casually for the comforter, sliding under it easily and nudging Sam to do the same.  Sam could feel his eyes widen as he lifted off the cover and slipped his body beneath it.  Dean pummeled a pillow into shape underneath his head and then raised his arm.  "Come here," he said softly and Sam did as he was bid, tucking himself up against Dean's side, throwing a leg over Dean's and dropping his head onto Dean's shoulder.  Dean was warm and solid beneath him, just like always.  Safety.  Home.  It made Sam feel brave, and he took a chance.

"I...I really wanna taste you, Dean.  You know, give you a blowjob."

Dean coughed in surprise and then it shifted into a laugh.  "Shit, Sam.  Just blurt it out, why don't you."

"Can I?"

"Umm...I'm a little done in right now."

"Yeah, no, I know, I just meant...later."

"Yeah, Sammy.  You definitely can."


End file.
